Costa Women Blogs

One approach to evaluating the relationship between pain and pleasure is to consider these two systems as a reward-punishment based system. When pleasure is perceived, one associates it with reward. When pain is perceived, one associates with punishment. Evolutionarily, this makes sense, because often, actions that result in pleasure or chemicals that induce pleasure work towards restoring homeostasis in the body. For example, when the body is hungry, the pleasure of rewarding food to one-self restores the body back to a balanced state of replenished energy. Like so, this can also be applied to pain, because the ability to perceive pain enhances both avoidance and defensive mechanisms that were, and still are, necessary for survival  However, people take these to extremes. Taking into account the law of duality and the need for balance, if we only seek pleasure or support without being willing to accept challenge, we are out of balance, and the universe will find a way to bring this balance into our life. Often In peoples lives, they feel as if they have everything sorted, apart from this one thing, which never works out. This is the universe restoring balance of pain/pleasure.   A client the other day said to me “ everything else in my life is great, I have great kids, a great husband, a house etc but I always have problems with money. It just never seems to work out. I suppose it´s because I cant have it all” this is not in fact true. This statement has been driven by the conditioning of humans to seek pleasure and avoid pain. So it´s about learning to accept the good with the bad and to balance our perceptions of what pain and pleasure actually is.  Self sabotage is the unconscious pursuit of pain and challenge, stemmed from a limiting belief we have formed about ourselves in the past “ I don’t deserve to have it all” or “im not good enough” it is the subconscious need to punish ourselves, to sabotage a desired outcome. Both pleasure and pain are derived from extreme emotional charges and both are ultimately fear based. If we gain too much pleasure or support in life, we develop fear of losing it. If we are experiencing too much challenge or suffering, this is fear based. A part of us subconsciously believes that is what we deserve.  Aristotle describes describes pain and pleasure very much like a push-pull concept; human beings will move towards something that causes pleasure and will move away from something that causes pain. And this if taken to extremes, this is what results in hedonism and avoidance.  The answers are inside of you. We often hear the phrase “It will be worth it in the end” Deep down, we know that sometimes we have to go through pain in order to ultimately experience pleasure. The motivation decision model by Howard Fields PHD is centered around the concept that decision processes are driven by motivations of highest priority.  it is suggested that human beings have developed the unconscious ability to endure pain or sometimes, even relieve pain if it can be more important for survival to gain a larger reward. It may have been more advantageous to link the pain and pleasure perceptions together to be able to reduce pain to gain a reward necessary for fitness, such as childbirth. Or a singer, whose highest value is performing, will be willing to wait tables for several years and share a room with five other people in the crappiest part of town, because they know deep down that the reward/outcome will outweigh the present struggles/suffering. Howard fields suggests that decision processes are driven by motivations of highest priority, this means we will endure necessary pain, but ONLY if the decisions we are making are driven by our authentic, individual values.  Instant gratification and the ego. People who seek only instant gratification, aiming to satisfy cravings such as hunger, thirst, sex and addictions are not living from cause. Your behaviour is ruled by the ego, only obeying the pleasure principle. Freud used the idea that the mind seeks pleasure and avoids pain. Maturity is learning to endure the pain of deferred gratification when reality requires it. Freud argued that “an ego thus educated has become ‘reasonable’; it no longer lets itself be governed by the pleasure principle, but obeys the reality principle, which also, at bottom, seeks to obtain pleasure, but pleasure which is assured through taking account of reality, even though it is pleasure postponed and diminished”  Living from cause means being the director of your life, rather than the directed. In order to effectively live from cause and over rule the need for ego driven instant gratification, we need to determine what our cause or purpose actually is. Only when we are able to link all our our perceived “pains” to our authentic desired outcome, can we truly make decisions that are not driven by ego. Only then can we learn to appreciate and equilibrate pain and pleasure that we experience in life, and make conscious congruent choices.  It will be worth it in the end What have you been through hell for that in the end has given you long term satisfaction? Think about this, and observe how you got through it. This is what you will need to apply to achieving your goals. Because of the polarity in life, it is unrealistic to think that the journey will be easy. There will be ups and downs, bumps in the road, recalculation of internal GPS systems and flat tires along the journey of life, but how will you deal with these “pains” as they inevitably arise?  Let´s look at the facts   You will greatly improve your chances of success, if your goals are congruent with your values. Inspriration and dreams come from these values, and because we are born with them, we don’t need to motivate ourselves to do it, because motivation happens naturally when you are aligned. Nobody needs to motivate a mother to go through the pain of childbirth, or a rocket scientist to go through college, because they instinctively know that it will be worth it in the end. If you find yourself struggling to motivate yourself, you need to examine if your goal is aligned and congruent with your own true values. You are nobody´s priority but your own. Your purpose will not happen to you, and success will not just magically fall into your lap. You need to take aligned action. That means discover it, feel it and live it. God blessed us with the power of free will. Use it. Your life is 100% your own responsibility. Einstein defined insanity as repeating the same behaviour over and over and expecting different results. If something is not giving you the outcome you desire, try a different approach.  Decision making from the soul and over riding the ego  As previously mentioned, we are only going to decide to tolerate pain and difficulty when we have the motivation to do so. Decisions are driven by motivations of highest priority. So how do we apply this motivation to every day occurrences that do not inspire us? The answer lies in our intention. Fitness and working out is not at all high on my list of values of priority, so thus I have previously sought instant gratification. A chocolate here, a burger there and guess what? I have not been able to reach my goal of weight loss and toning. Exercise and the gym do not inspire me and I had zero motivation to commit to a regime, until I discovered my own purpose, and was able to see the bigger picture of how exercise and diet would actually benefit me in the long run. With the end vision in my mind, and by linking exercising to achieving my goal, I have chosen not to eat processed foods and I have found the aligned willpower to commit to exercising daily. In acting from cause, I am now enjoying the benefits of the effect. The perceived “pain” of exercising and dieting is causing lasting pleasurable/fulfilling effects. In which ways are you living from the soul and over riding the ego which are now giving you long term benefits? 

Our subconscious mind is an intricate, yet wonderful thing. It can be our own worst enemy, or our greatest Ally. Like everything, the trick is to make our subconscious work for us, rather than remain enslaved to it´s wiley ways. Our subconscious mind is a giant memory bank. It stores every event that has ever happened to us, and due to it´s inability to reason or rationalise- it accepts everything that manages to sneak past the conscious mind, as truth. It´s job is to make sure that you respond exactly the way that you have been conditioned. Your subconscious mind works on auto pilot and makes everything you say and do fit a pattern consistent with the years of conditioning and repetition that it has received.  I´m sure you can imagine how easy this would make life, if everything we have ever been told by friends, peers, parents, society and religion has been positive, with the only events that occurred and words spoken to us were pre prepared by those responsible for conditioning us as children, with the sole intent of contributing to our growth and positive mindset. Unfortunately that is not always the case, which is why it´s so important to become aware of our subconscious and how it is manifesting patterns, thought process and behaviours in our adult lives, most of which we are not aware of- we don´t think, we just do! It is through repetition that the subconscious accepts phrases or events as reality, and between the ages of 0-6, the repetitive circumstances in our lives have formed our internal operating system. When we experience a traumatic event (which can be as simple as a teacher shouting at us in front of a classroom full of other children and telling us we are no good) humans produce a freeze response. This paralyses our conscious mind and a part of our consciousness, holding onto this memory, splits off and goes straight into the subconscious. It is at this moment that we form a belief about ourself and the world. So if we have been exposed to circumstances that have caused us to form a subconscious belief, that becomes our truth. Throughout my youth, I attended private schools, which were old fashioned and competitive in nature- we were programmed from day one to compete against each other. Whether it be who would be chosen as captain of the Lacrosse team, who would be chosen to be someones best friend out of an entire group of people, or who would be chosen for the lead part in the school play, or who would end up in the dreaded D class for maths (me by the way) there was always the tense few days of waiting and uncertainty, before the results would be pinned on the notice board in the hallway. I have always leaned towards more creative abilities, rather than academic classroom activities and singing and theatre were always my passion. I had my heart set on becoming the next Marilyn Monroe when I grew up. My parents were always very supportive of my singing and acting, and whenever we had a dinner party at home, I would always get up at the end of the meal and sing or do a little scene from a play. I received alot of positive feedback from teachers, friends, parents and parents friends- but whenever the school play auditions would happen, I would never be chosen for a part other than an angel or a donkey in a nativity play. When the rounders teams were chosen in the summer, I would gear myself up for being captain, but someone else would always be chosen over me. So what belief did I eventually form about myself and the world? “Someone else is always chosen over me” As we grow older, our conscious mind comes to learn that this happened in the past and really it was just a silly thing that happened at school when we were little, however our subconscious mind, having no concept of time, space or even reality (aside from the reality it is programmed to believe) just says “ok someone else always get´s chosen over me, your wish is my command” so that is what continues to manifest in our lives time after time. The job we were so certain we would be chosen for, but then last minute the other candidate got chosen because she was less independant, or calmer. The guy everyone wanted as their boyfriend, who made every effort under the sun to get close to you and then promptly friendzones you and dates your biggest rival from your class. Or the Ivy league university you are just one point away getting accepted to, when your exam results come back. The extraordinary thing about these beliefs, is that because a part of our minds accept them as truth, we actually tend to behave in ways that guarantee that we are not chosen. Let´s take a look at the possibilities of what really happened behind one of the examples above: Our version of the truth: The job we were so certain we would be chosen for, but then last minute the other candidate got chosen because she was less independant, or calmer. The actual truth: Both candidates had equal strengths, you had a slight advantage because you spoke another language. You were both called back for second interviews, and you both had plans to go on holiday. She cancelled her holiday, you thought cancelling your long awaited beach break was an idea so ridiculous, you didn´t give it a second thought. Outcome: In this moment it became clear to your employer that she was willing to comply with what they wanted, you weren´t. She got the job. Your conclusion? “Someone else always gets chosen over me” and on it goes… In order to dissolve these beliefs and re-programme our subconscious, we first need to look at the constant themes in our present day lives, in all areas of our life, identify what it is that we would change, and go about recalibrating our subconscious in order to design a new master programme into our thoughts and lives, so that we can begin creating a reality of choice, rather than chance, as a result of how we have been previously calibrated. Some tips to get you started: Practice positive self talk– also known as affirmations. Emil Coue, the French pharmacist who is world renowned for bringing affirmations into the mainstream would repeat to himself on a daily basis “every day, in every way, I am getting better and better” Dr. John Demartini´s favourite is “I love what I do and I do what I love” write yourself five affirmations, that are true to you, repeat them several times, first thing in the morning and last thing at night, for a period of 21 days (to form a habit) and notice the changes in your thought patterns and hence reality. I am a huge fan of Byron Katie´s “The Work” so simple, yet so impactful. When you notice a persistent thought stop and ask yourself the following questions. “Is this true” “Can you absolutely know it’s true?” “What happens when you believe that thought?” “Who would you be without that thought?” Just taking the time to mindfully be aware of our thoughts and challenge them, brings our awareness to a new level, and we start to see that the map is not the territory. Another simple process I often use whenever I experience thoughts or observe behaviours I would rather not have, is everytime I experience a situation which re affirms a belief to me, I make two mental lists: here is an example using the belief of “someone else always gets chosen over me” 1. Remind yourself that this is not fact and make a mental list of all the times you HAVE been chosen. 2. Recognise that there is positive and negative in absolutely everything– if on this occasion someone else HAS been chosen over you, what benefits have you got from it? if someone else was chosen how has that helped you? If you had been chosen, what would it have stopped you from being, doing or having?  before long you will realise that actually it may have been a blessing in disguise.  Practice mindfulness– just because you have been triggered by something which is causing you do feel that your belief is true DOES NOT mean that it IS true! Your emotions do not define you and as a fully functioning human, you have the CHOICE whether or not to engage with this emotion/belief. If you choose not to it really is as straightforward as saying to yourself “Right i can see what´s happening here, it´s that same emotion arising, I´m just going to let it pass and not get involved” Force yourself to focus your attention on something else and not engage with it, and you will find before long it passes. Although the above post is not a conclusive method to re-training the brain, it is a good starting point towards your own understanding of how your Subconscious mind is working in your life, and just the recognition of that, is already a powerful step into Re-aligning with your authentic self. Practice makes perfect, so start practicing the tips above, and leave a comment letting us know your (new and improved) thoughts!    

Security Service Company Mapit Solutions using its servers now to provide reliable home entertainment services. Monthly fee of 44 Euros brings you the following channels (catch-up, recording and downloading) BBC One London, One Scotland, Two London, Three, Four IPTV 1, 2, 3 & 4 Channel 4 & 5 London Dave Quest UK Gold Comedy Central Film 4 CBS Drama, Action & Reality True Movies 1 & 2 More 4 Aljazeera world test CNBC Europe Bloomberg Television BBC News Sky News CNN International Disney Junior UK Disney Channel Nickelodeon Cartoon Network Discovery Channel Food Network DMAX UK Animal Planet National Geographic Channel  Nat Geo Wild History Investigation Discovery Sky One, Two, Atlantic, Movies Premier, Comedy, Sci-Fi & Horror, Crime & Thriller, Drama & Romance, Action & Adventure Family At the Races Sky Sports 1, 2, 3, 4, F1, Sport News Box Nation BT Sport 1 & 2 Premier Sports British Eurosport Eurosport 2 ESPN Racing UK Setanta Ireland 3E MTV Music, Hits & Classic   We also reprogram nonfunctional IPTV boxes and connect them to our servers. monica@mapit-solutions.com Service is world-wide

What Defines You? It was one of the hottest days, or so it seemed, and it was only February, as I strolled down Ipanema and Copa Cabana Beach to witness for the first time one of the world’s most attended events:  Carnival in Rio de Janeiro or as they call it:  “Carnavau.” The air was misty, humid, and deliciously enchanting. It was Summer in full swing in that part of the Western Hemisphere with temperatures reaching 40 degrees Celsius/104 Fahrenheit!  Yes, it was HOT and the Bay of Rio was luminous as the Sun kissed the waters of the Atlantic and bathed in an Ocean of millions of spectators waiting for Carnavau to begin.  The music was unbelievable, and Samba was naturally practiced in all corners of Rio. I arrived a week before the event to get acquainted with the pre-festivities which seem to be as elaborate as the real thing, and oh, was it ever fun. Everything stops once Carnivau beings.  Even taxi drivers are hard to come by.  Every industry in Rio is ceremoniously and proudly represented for the next ten days out of the year.  And as soon as it is over, it begins all over again.  They laboriously work for a better display of awesomeness for the next twelve months that follows.   The intensity of their work and the results that are displayed after a year of hard work, cannot fairly be articulated, unless you are right there, up close and personal.  The pictures and videos are amazing, but the experience…..You have to be there! The local Cariocas proudly display their ‘carrozas’ or floats in such a majestic way, that it is easy to decipher the sweat equity they have put into it.  Remember, these parades go on for ten days and every industry is proudly represented, including Witchcraft!   Ask any Carioca about “Macumba” and they’ll have a fascinating story to tell.  Carioca women are notoriously famous for their natural beauty, and I must add, men are just as handsome. I was particularly taken by their magnificent floats.  No two are alike, and they are amazingly elaborate.  A lot of work goes into it for less than fifteen minutes of fame and the “performers’ on the float, have to be on top of their game to be visible enough to be considered outstanding and win whatever prize is being offered at the time. However, this is also a Masquerade party where everyone is who they want to be, but not necessarily who they really are.  The amazing lengths that the participants go through, will leave you catching your breath and not sure, if you will ever understand why they will work so hard to not be who they are, or be who they are not.   The amalgam of color, tradition, religion, politics, and culture made me think of “What Defines You?” While I watched the Carioca people of Rio de Janeiro have the time of their lives during one of the most important events of the year in that region of Brazil, I wonder why it was so important to masquerade. Points to Ponder: ·         What makes you who you are today? ·         Who influenced you along the way? ·         Would you choose a different way of being? ·         Are you happy with whom you are? ·         Are you happy with whom you have become? Consider: ·         Does Money define you? ·         Does family define you? ·         Does cultural background define you? ·         Do friends define you? ·         Do possessions define you? ·         What DOES define you?! Action Plan: ·         Identify your quirkiness and write it down. ·         Accept it is part of who you are. ·         Celebrate it! ·         Understand that what you thought was a negative, could very well be a positive. ·         Welcome those who want to celebrate with you and make them part of your spiritual family. ·         Create space for those who really love you, and allow them to join you. ·         Acknowledge that you are never alone.  There’s always someone or something that comes out of the clear blue-sky and you wonder how in the world they got there. ·         Always be grateful. ·         Magic happens when you allow it to happen.  Don’t fight it, just join it. Come back here and tell me:  What does define you?  Contact me at Ali@VisionForSuccess.biz or visit website:  http://AliRodriguez.com

It’s that time of year again where parents start to twitch at the thought of 12 long weeks of kids at home under our feet. Whether you are a working parent who needs to send their kids away for a few hours every day or parents who just need to keep their children entertained there are heaps of activities available on the coast and inland. Thankfully with a superb climate clubs and camps are held daily, weekly or monthly and mostly outdoors and range from the very reasonably priced school clubs via the local municipalities to the more expensive and elite golf and footballing camps. But there is something for every age and ability and to suit most pockets. This year we at Roundaboutspain.com have compiled a fairly comprehensive list of the various clubs and camps open this year. Infact we have a full 3 pages full of ideas. These range from skateboarding classes, making a surf board, courses in electronics and engineering, dance, music, drama or sports.  Please visit our pdf file via the link and see for yourself.  HERE Good luck!! See you in September on the other side